By Kyle Smith
Many males goal excessive; Tom Farrell dares to be usual. whereas his pals collect marriage ceremony jewelry, mortgages, or even, alarmingly, infants, Tom nonetheless lives by myself in his rented residence with not anything yet condiments and alcohol in his fridge. He spends Saturday mornings staring at cartoons and consuming Cocoa Puffs out of an Empire moves again bowl, and devotes the remainder of the weekend to his different favourite leisure pursuits: activities and ladies. His credo, to imagine and act like a thirteen-year-old boy perpetually, has labored good adequate to land him an honest task writing headlines for the hot York Tabloid. yet neither his own existence nor his expert lifestyles has any ahead momentum; he is occupied a similar cubicle because the first George Bush was once president and is at the moment "between girlfriends." At thirty-two, it starts off to take place to him: there is a positive line among choosy and loser. input a sly, attractive coworker named Julia. After a number of torrid dates, Tom is hooked. "She's like cleansing in the back of my fridge. A once-in-a-lifetime thing." however the nearer he will get to Julia, the extra elusive she turns into. annoyed, Tom seeks the doubtful suggestion of his blood brother Shooter, a shallow sexual gladiator, and wonders why he retains stepping into arguments with Bran, his clever, sarcastic "default date." yet then tragedy moves, and everyone's attitudes towards existence and love switch -- or even Tom starts to determine himself in a brand new gentle. via turns riotous and tenderhearted, Kyle Smith's Love Monkey is the main candid and excruciatingly humorous exploration of the male brain and libido considering the fact that excessive constancy.
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He says. ” “When men kill, they kill their wife or their girlfriend for leaving them. Or a liquor-store owner so they can get money to spend on some girl. Then they get the death penalty. When women kill, they kill their kids. ” “Now, I’m not saying murder is okay. ” “Speaking of crap,” I say. ” “Oh, okay. ” “Whoa,” Shooter says. ” I turn back to the review for a while. I get to the point where I want to quote something no one else has quoted, to prove I read a book I didn’t read. So I flip around and discover this little tidbit: when John Adams was declaring revolution and all that in Philly, his wife, Abigail, was writing him from Boston, “in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies, and be more favorable to them than your ancestors.
You have to take everything he says with a grain elevator of salt. Shooter doesn’t answer. Shooter is riffing. ” 53 Kyle Smith Love Monkey Page 53 K Y L E S M I T H “There are about five of them. The only other girls in music are the singers. Why? Because the singer is the one everyone looks at. Girls want to look good. They don’t want to slave away behind the drum kit. Some guy is back there. Trying to impress the girl with the mike. ” “Uh-huh,” I say. ” he says. ” “When men kill, they kill their wife or their girlfriend for leaving them.
Then suddenly the film goes all wobbly and stops, as if it has come off the projector. Bugs walks onscreen, which is now merely a white background. He apologizes but says the film broke. He says he has no idea how it happened. Then, grinning rakishly, he brings out from behind his back a pair of scissors. Snip, snip. Bugs is always doing pomo things like that. Not only does he have access to a limitless array of props, makeup, and costumes, but he also has this surreal godlike ability to simply step out of the situation and overrule everything that’s happened.
Love Monkey by Kyle Smith